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Yet whenever someone comes for help, I always try to start by commending them for seeking help.

I also emphasize hope by assuring them that significant progress could be experienced if they commit to a process.

Every option to keep a couple together should be considered before resorting to separation.

Most couples in troubled marriages allow their relationships to disintegrate for years before seeking help.

I have observed this in the context of substance abuse, severe financial irresponsibility, unending emotional and/or verbal abuse, psychological breakdown and abrogation of marital commitments.

Each case has its own set of circumstances and level of severity.

Jesus said, “what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:6).

Beyond the emotional depletion from a troubled marriage, they often have children to raise, bills to pay, and deadlines and demands to meet.

By the time they ask for help, goodwill toward each other has likely been replaced with feelings of distance, disappointment, resentment and anger.

A significant part of the problem is that most couples don’t look for help until things become seemingly unbearable.

It’s unwise to wait to give counseling “a try” when a marriage is holding by thin threads. Couples who do this typically have very little margin in their lives for rebuilding their marriages.

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