Dating a recovered alcoholic aa meetings

I realized when I did things that I knew made his addiction and life easier, even if it was acting crazy so he could feel justified to abuse drugs more, that I was not only enabling him but hurting myself.If he ever had a chance to stop using drugs, I had to realize it was not going to be because of me.It can draw in the wife, the children, the parents, and the friends if you allow it.Nevertheless, enabling is a choice even though it does not feel like one. We got back together 4 years ago because he completed his first intensive 6 month rehab program. All I ever wanted was a husband who was there for me. So many times, I insisted that I was "helping" my husband as you probably see many times in the book but in actuality I was perpetuating my own sick behavior and need to control him and his addiction.Please keep your head up, keep me posted, I am here to help! When we first met i must admit that i used to do the same, but as time has gone on and i have got older, i have stopped and want to try and sort out my life. i feel to embarrassed to tell F&Family, so lie about things being good.Best, Amanda Andruzzi, published author, Hope Street, a memoir from a co-addict I've just stumbled across this site - I'm sitting here now and my BF has gone on a binge again. I feel guilty about this, as feel like i encouraged it at the beginning. I must be an enabler, i wanted to save him - but perhaps that isn't possible! Thank you Amanda for your blog, I have found it very helpful to read.

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It refers to a dysfunctional way of helping someone else in such a way that hurts the enabler and the person they think they are helping.It was like I was tuning out all of the advice I needed to hear until one day I heard it because I was ready to listen.My husband was not forcing me to enable him; I was taking it upon myself to help him because I felt bad for him and I loved him.If you change your life and start doing things that bring back your self-confidence then it is less likely you will want to repair him.Addiction is a selfish condition because it usually involves the complete attention of more people than just the addict.

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